Kyla Miller: A Writing Portfolio

 

From Girl to Woman—Before Her Fifth Birthday

 

 

 

Plenty of little girls love to dress up in big fluffy dresses, plastic high-heeled shoes, and pretend makeup, but that’s all fun and games. What happens when you take those same little girls and make what should be innocent play into a high-stress, over-the-top competition? Simple dress up is then replaced by scantily clad outfits, 4-inch heels, and real make-up that make a 3-year-old girl look like a 20-year-old woman. This is the world of young girl’s Beauty Pageants, and in particular, the lives of the little girls highlighted on the popular TLC show “Toddlers & Tiaras.” The objectification these little girls are experiencing from their parents and the pageant world not only has shown adverse effects on their maturation into women, but it also instills the superficial values of femininity.

 

So what has caused parents to push their children into pageant life so early? Critics agree that societal pressures and values are held accountable. However, the historical expectation of women to be “perfect” and “beautiful” may also be responsible (Brumberg, 1997). Women have always been seen as delicate and fragile—essentially, objects of beauty. It seems that pageants may simply reflect these ideals in a more blatant fashion. In addition, many argue that pageant life for toddlers sets degrading standards and values, putting an enormous amount of pressure on little girls to express a sort of hyper-feminine image. One critic says that the entire diva-ization of our current culture places more value on physical beauty than on any other trait. Pageant parents are driven by a dominant culture that is filled with superficial maturity and beauty obsessions (Bennett, 2009). Parents claim that, through signing up their children for pageants, their children will learn the self-confidence they need to make it in life. However, many of the little girls on the show express no desire to participate, as they scream over eyebrow waxing, fake tanning, and intensive up-dos that pull their hair so tight on their head it actually causes them physical pain.

 

Although parents may stress that these pageants enhance, and not hinder, their daughter’s maturity, there’s an overwhelming amount of evidence that points towards the negative. Young girls’ development can be easily manipulated and socially influenced (Denmark, 2008). Peers are heavily influential during a young child’s life, and young girls will begin to compare themselves and compete with other young girls constantly. This continuous comparison, especially the physical judgment that pageants focus on, contributes to the construction and positioning of invisible systems of surveillance and regulation (Connolly, 2001). The girls may feel that the judges are looking for their flaws, and they often begin to feel self-conscious. This can cause young girls to lose power and agency; they feel that they have no choice but to stand on stage for scrutiny. The pageants turn their focus from their own inner beauty to the comparison of their physical appearance and to the little girls around them. Whether that is their shiny hair, fluffy dress, or tiny waist, this comparison predominantly leads body image problems.

 

The last thing any 5-year-old girl should be worrying about is how she looks in the mirror. Unfortunately, more often than not, the girls who consistently win pageants have one thing in common—they’re all pencil-thin. When young girls feel pressure to win, they often catch on to that pattern, and self-destructive perceptions of body image begin to surface. Pageant life can lead to a twisted body image, at far too early of an age (Olfman, 2009). Parents on the show were quotted that they put their daughters on calorie restricted diets beginning as young as two years old. Such an early emphasis on appearance and body image can distort a vulnerable girls self-perception. If they believe their parents, peers, and judges won’t accept them for how they look, how can they learn to accept themselves? Because girls are so easily influenced, this poor self-image can be hard to shake.

 

It’s hard to concede the positive side of pageants while watching blatant force put on the girls by their parents in “Toddlers & Tiaras.” The majority of the girls are seen as highly stressed, with no voice in what they are wearing or how they are being outwardly portrayed to the judges. Consistently, they look precocious. Many are seen screaming, swearing, and threatening their own parents. This clearly shows the ill affects the pageant can have on young girls caught up in a culture that was never meant for their age bracket. Without fail, both the mothers and daughters have terrible sportsmanship on the show. One of the mothers said about her daughter, “If she doesn’t win she cries. I mean anytime anybody loses any kind of sport or you know someone dies on the doctor’s table you’re gonna cry. She cries.” Another contestant, Cassidy Blair stated, “When I don’t win I feel like I want to kick the winners’ booty and take the trophy.” Certainly that’s not what these pageants should be treating 7-year-old girls.

 

Additionally, one of the most obvious and disturbing aspects of the show is how these little girls are physically represented. These pageants let toddlers prance around in barely-there bikinis, perform provocative dances for their talent, as well as dress them up asstreetwalkers. One of the most controversial episodes showed a three year old dressed up as the prostitute Julia Roberts played in “Pretty Woman” knee high boots and all. In that sense, it’s obvious why people would question the parent’s who chose an outfit like that for their 3 year old. Also, it’s concerning how that may affect their development when the time comes for them to fittingly mature into adults. Limited research has been done on the long-term effects of these toddler beauty pageant stars; however, negative effects have already started to show for many of the young girls.

 

Many people argue that the problem may not be with the little girls themselves, but with the parents who are raising them in this environment that values beauty over all else. While watching the show, it quickly becomes apparent that 99% of the time the little girls are not at the pageants by choice. The majority of the mothers either used to be pageant queens themselves, or they wished they had. They’re then living vicariously through their daughter’s “hobby,” which isn’t healthy for the mother or daughter. Frequently, in a rush to get her daughter started, the mother forgets how old her daughter is and neglects her wants and needs.

 

There are also certain consequences that come with growing up quickly in such a superficial fashion. Time after time the parents on “Toddlers & Tiaras” push one goal and one goal only—get the crown and the cash. The culture of pageantry is very “I” oriented, and even though it is considered a “hobby,” it certainly doesn’t push team principles where kids learn the value of the whole, not the individual. The girls are taught to constantly compare their beauty to others and measure their worth that way. Alexis Jade, a young girl who’s featured on the show, says, “I think I’m prettier than the other girls.” If they don’t get the money and the tiara, they think they’re not only a failure but ugly too. There’s also a consistent encouragement of negative expressions such as acting like a “diva,” that many girls have been shown to take on quite effortlessly. More often than not, the little girls end up getting what they want when they act this way, which just reinforces the behavior. One little girl, Mackenzie, throws a temper tantrum over her boot tassels and starts screaming, waving her finger at her parents, and storming out of the room demanding, “Take me to the pageant!” As if the daughter was supposed to be the mother’s boss, the mom obediently followed and gave her no punishment and certainly no tassels.

 

Finally, the girls learn to overemphasize appearance and physicality, while underemphasizing other traits such as intelligence and altruism. They get confused ideas about what is “valuable” in our society, and become blinded to other ways in which women can succeed that don’t involve judgments of attractiveness. That’s not to say that beauty is not important; however, it’s certainly not the only quality a woman can have. When girls learn to judge others solely on their beauty, the viscous cycle of superficiality revs on.

 

Naturally, with so many contentious episodes, people have begun to take matters into their own hands. Thousands of people have demanded that the show be taken off air on Facebook. There are now over 5,000 supporters, and thousands of angry parents have pushed the show to the forefront of the debate concerning girls’ sped-up maturation. Viewers have also sent thousands of letters to TLC to drop the show. The negative reactions certainly speak to the nature of the show and child pageantry as a whole. But, despite all the criticism, the show is generating new, growingly divisive episodes every week in response to great ratings.

 

Although the show attracts more negative attention than anything else, some parents are sticking to their guns in saying pageant life isn’t all that bad. One of the most common arguments made is that it promotes healthy competition and introduces young girls to the competitive side of the real world. Girls learn that they aren’t always going to be the prettiest, the most charming, or even the most talented—and that’s okay. They can lose politely and congratulate their competition. The real world can be cutthroat, and by introducing their daughters to that sort of environment earlier on, they will develop a thick skin and be stronger women in the future. Additionally, parents say that it’s healthy for girls to have a hobby and be around kids their age. They say the atmosphere is light-hearted and fun, and the girls love to just dress up and have a good time with the other kids backstage. Is that really true? Toddlers & Tiaras seems to present it in a slightly different light.

 

It seems that the issue is deeply rooted—our culture’s obsession with ideal beauty and early maturation has made people not only love to hate, but also hate to love the show. It seems that innocent, fun dress up should stay just that—innocent. Dr. Brown, a pediatrician and author of “Toddler 411” stated, “Childhood is a time to learn about the world, explore, pretend, imagine, and create in a safe vacuum of innocence. Bypassing those critical life experiences and developmental stages by trying to dress, act, and be treated like an adult leaves these children lacking important life skills that help them be confident and successful adults” It proves to be very difficult to shield young girls from the sexualization of girls and objectification of women in our society. We cannot change toddlers’ pageant participation until we change our own deep-rooted values about girls’ premature conformity to femininity.